Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam('s Twin)

I'm going to come out swinging hard, fast, and for the fences on this one. I don't just see myself in her because I started a new job as a Receptionist (the explanation for my absence last month!!), and it's not because I have a slow-burn office romance with the goofy salesman sitting just an air-high-five away (I don't. I really don't). No, Pam's influence runs much deeper than romantic parallels and our shared loathing for 9-5 corporate slavery. And before some of you think, Ava sure picked a boring character, let me lead with a quote from the lady herself: 

There’s a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn’t that kind of the point?

In season one, Pamela Beesly is Dunder Mifflin's somewhat listless Receptionist, often caught yawning behind her desk, sending faxes and directing calls, or playing solitaire on her computer. Despite her intrinsic boredom, we see her spark begin to emerge in fun and flirty scenes with Jim, participating in office pranks, or when she has the chance to talk about her watercolour paintings (Jim thinks they're good).

Pam, at surface-level, encapsulates the office-crush, grown-up-girl-next-door aesthetic. She presents a warm, reliable, and charming air that can be greatly appealing both romantically and as a role model. I like to think I have some of those qualities, too! But I did say surface-level. So lets dig a little deeper.

Sometimes You Gotta Do a Coal Walk

For most of my life, especially leading up to university and even sometimes to this day, I struggle to take on obstacles with courage and honesty. There's been a couple of times where I've definitely gotten burned by ignoring the truth, and in many cases, I'd much, much rather be burned by the truth. It really can set you free. 

I remember re-watching the Beach Games (S3, Ep22) episode in my second year of Uni. At the time, I had this huge crush on this guy (it was NOT a Jim and Pam dynamic, but I digress) and I was stuck in that awful limbo phase where you don't want to say anything because you know you'll just get hurt, but on the other hand, not saying anything hurts just as much (vid. Is it better to speak, or to die?). 

In Beach Games, Pam has called off her engagement to Roy (because of Jim), but has recently suffered watching Jim and his new girlfriend Karen be together instead. After a long day of being ordered around by Michael and biting her tongue as she always does, Pam decides to do the coal walk - a challenge not even Michael could muster the courage to complete. 

Experiencing an emotional catharsis, Pam rides the wave of clarity all the way to her coworkers and delivers one of my favourite monologues of all time. It's clumsy, and colloquial, and even though her adrenaline is running high, you can still feel the long-held emotion in her words as she forces them out. 

Why didn't any of you come to my art show? I invited all of you. That really sucked. It's like sometimes some of you act like I don't even exist. Jim, I called off my wedding because of you. And now we're not even friends. And things are just, like, weird between us, and that sucks. And I miss you…{read here}

If there's one thing I've learned over and over in life - one thing I know I'll always have to remind myself - it's that sometimes honesty is the only path forward. Not just to achieve a means, not to manipulate or hope or even to make something right. When people think of ‘telling the truth’ or ‘being honest’, it's usually about fessing up to a lie. But I think the most powerful kind of honesty is when you're forgiving and standing up for yourself. In this scene, Pam does just that. As someone who, as I said, has learned that same lesson over and over again, this scene quickly became (and still is) very important to me.

One small detail I loved: in the next episode (S3 Finale), Pam holds her head high in spite of her coworker's quips and jabs at her expense. She doesn't backtrack or express regret about her actions, and I see it as the beginning of her evolution as a leading lady. 

It's Okay to Go After What You Want - Even if it's Not the ‘Right Way’

Pam is an artist. We know early on that sketching and painting are her passions. Like many aspects of the show, Pam's art isn't flashy or mind-blowing or even the best of the best. It captures the beautiful in the mundane, the joy that can come from everyday life. When, in season 4, Pam is accepted to Pratt's art program, she decides to pursue that dream. It's a huge moment where the audience is reminded of her independent goals! She too has an arc! 

The new storyline juxtaposes the heartbreaking scene in season 2 episode 15, in which Pam describes her dream house: one with blue shutters and a terrace where she can paint flowers. As she goes on, a slow realization dawns on her that such a simple dream might not even be possible ("They don't even make houses like that here in Scranton…") and she breaks down in the interview.

I grew up always knowing I wanted to be a writer of some kind. I didn't know if that meant a career, or, like Pam, my art would be something I did secretly at my desk in my free time or half-heartedly late at night before bed. Evidently, I am living the latter. But, like Pam, I have big dreams. I want that house with the blue shutters and the terrace, too. I want to finish a novel someday, and read all the classics, and travel, and be known for something other than what people might see on the surface. 

Pam's stint in New York is enlightening for her, but when she fails one of her classes and has to choose between doing a second semester or returning to Jim in Scranton, she calls him in distress. He encourages her to re-do the course, that she should “come back the right way” (meaning being separated for even longer, so she can complete the program). 

Later that episode (S5 Ep8), when Jim comes out of the office to see her in the parking lot, she smiles. “I'm coming back the wrong way,” she says. “I just really wanted to come home, and I know you said to come home the right way, but…you can't tell me what to do.” And they say how much they miss each other, and then I'm not sure what happens after that because the screen always gets blurry…? Anyways…

I can see how some people might dislike this for Pam. After all, she's worked so hard! Doesn't she want to be an artist? Well, to that I say, she was never really giving up on her dream. In this very scene, she says she “missed Scranton", a direct contrast to that talking head scene in season 2, when she believes the future she dreams of is not in Scranton. Pam has what she once thought was impossible. And, lets be honest, her circumstances are pretty realistic. Sometimes you fail at something, or you realize you don't like it, or it's not a good fit. My takeaways from this arc are 1. The most important thing is to try, and 2. It's okay to come home the “wrong way”, because the “wrong way” doesn't really exist. It's all about what makes you happy, in the end.

Bonus Speed Round

Just some quick Pam quotes I relate to very, very strongly:

• “I'm going to start telling people what I want, directly.”
• “I don't care what they say about me, I just want to eat.” (This was my graduation yearbook quote)
• “Conquer your fears. Just go after what you want and act fast, because life just isn't that long.”
• “…And I feel God in this Chilis tonight.”

Anyways! I always get carried away with these things…I'm looking forward to reading everyone else's posts! Comment which Office character you think you're most like, just for fun :)

Thanks for reading!