Who would've thought the War of the Worlds would be an Ice Cube reaction video.

OK, before we even talk about the movie – this pains me to write. Not because this is the umpteenth time that the WOTW brand has been reimagined, but because you had access to epic source material and still made an upsettingly mid movie. AND I'm being kind. 

H.G. Wells wrote an incredibly entertaining story in 1897 that has haunted humanity for almost 130 years. Its spawned countless movies, TV shows, comic books, radio shows, stage adaptations – even music. What's often missed is that Wells wrote the story as a metaphor for the horrors and failures of European colonization against the aboriginal Tasmanians. Too bad subsequent creators didn't draw from that same depth. 

The gift and the curse of H.G. Wells writing is that it's fun to reproduce, but obviously hard to do well. October 30 1938 – Orson Welles did a radio reading of the novel on CBS radio series The Mercury Theatre on the Air. The broadcast was so convincing that the listeners thought it was real –  an actual alien invasion unfolding over the radio! Now that's the kind of drama I'm talking about. 

Fast forward to the 2005 blockbuster directed by Steven Spielberg and starring Tom Cruise. Like it or not, this movie was a commercial success and is received well overall making it this generations most memorable adaptation. Another one that did not move the needle for me. 

Now — twenty years later and here we are at another kick at the proverbial tripod can. Kenny Golde, and Marc Hyman took on the writing duties. While music video director Rich Lee (Eminem: Houdini, Billie Eilish: All good girls go to hell) gets his first opportunity to direct a feature film. I don't know what they got paid to write, or direct but whatever it was – it was too much. 

The film takes place through the eyes of Ice Cube (N.W.A., Friday, Higher Learning) who's at his perch as a Department of Homeland Security surveillance officer. Looking all of his 56yrs of age, Cube gets to watch the apocalypse unfold from the comforts of his office. 

Eva Longoria  pops in and out of this film like she's being held hostage… not by the aliens, but by the banality of this script. Clark Gregg (Avengers, AGENTS of SHIELD) who I normally really enjoy felt like he recorded his scenes in the trailer on his smartphone and sent them all in as clips edited on a free video editor app. 

Before the weight of this film drowns any optimism I have left in me we have to talk about Iman Benson (Candy Cane Lane, The Midnight Club). She took the scraps she was given and through alchemical excellence turned in a fantastic performance. Not only did she have the most tumultuous time being under constant physical threat – she is the only actor in this entire movie that brought any kind of feelings of urgency or danger. 

Back to Ice Cube. As a hip-hop artist myself, Cube always holds a special place for me. Whether its the BIG3 Basketball league, his music, or his movie endeavors I'm always cheering for him to win. But this s*** right here?? This one is an aiiiiiiiiir baalllllll, wood in the hood, razzy verified, garbage juice. It's not all Cubes fault. He did some decent things in this movie. 

The POV being stationary, and unfolding on a screen through apps gave it a claustrophobic feel that has potential. It allows the studio to minimize costs, locations, and provides flexibility for shoot dates. However it comes at the expense of not having actors sharing the same spaces and feeding off of each others energy, and delivery and that's what really showed. Through all of the apps and digital connections, everything still felt disconnected. 

Even though the aliens, action sequences and special effects were served through shaky clips, and grainy surveillance type footage they were serviceable. That's what makes me the most upset at the attempt. There was something here, it could've had a similarly unique affect to the Orson Welles retelling. The premise was there, the technology was in hand, there were enough raw ingredients to bake some magic. Instead it ended up being e-coli from undercooked cookie dough. 

Now I'm not sure how this movie was greenlit. I can't seem to find budget details or reasons as to why this was created. There's an awful lot of AMAZON advertising throughout this movie, which is really strange considering the undertones of revolution and rebellion bubbling under the surface of this film. But it was, and nobody is the better for it. 

See, I was having a good day. Got booked for a commercial, got a callback, and created some new music. But then this happened. Somebody should've given Ice Cube his AK so he could've used it on the master copy of this movie. Thankfully it was only 90 minutes. Let the good day continue.