ITS COMPLICATED and the Beautiful Mess of Getting Back With an Ex

It's Complicated2009

When I decided to write about It’s Complicated (2009), I knew exactly why. I needed to defend it. It’s not just a great movie — it’s one of the best comedy films ever made. And yet, somehow, it has only 58% on Rotten Tomatoes. That’s ridiculous. This movie is intelligent, hilarious, relatable, and even profound. I laughed my ass off watching it. I still can’t believe how good it is, and that’s exactly why I’m writing this article — because it deserves to be in the top five, maybe top three, of all-time comedies.

Directed by Nancy Meyers — yes, the genius behind The Parent Trap, What Women Want, Something’s Gotta Give, The Holiday, and The Intern — this movie bears her unmistakable style: thoughtful, warm, elegant, and deeply human. It’s no surprise the film has a “woman’s touch.” You feel it in the dialogue, the pacing, the interior spaces, the way food is filmed — even the way the characters hurt each other and still manage to feel lovable.

The story revolves around Jane (Meryl Streep), a successful bakery owner and mother of three, who unexpectedly rekindles a romance with her now-remarried ex-husband Jake (Alec Baldwin). At the same time, she’s slowly building a much healthier, more respectful connection with Adam (Steve Martin), the architect renovating her home. It’s a love triangle, but one handled with such grace and wit that it becomes a meditation on maturity, desire, and second chances.

Rewatching this movie was a personal decision. I had already seen it many times, but I chose it again now because it’s one of my mother’s favorite movies. And she is, in many ways, very much like Jane. Watching It’s Complicated with that in mind, I realized why this film means so much to her — and why it now means more to me.

Let’s talk about Jane for a second. Meryl Streep has never looked more beautiful or more confident. She’s sexy, desirable, and powerful — a woman in her late 50s, yes, but radiating charm and sensual. Her home is stunning, she’s remodeling her kitchen, and she even has her own small crops — vegetables, fruits, herbs. She is wealthy, and that brings me to something that struck me during this watch: money matters. One of the reasons these characters can afford to dive deep into self-reflection, into passion, into making mistakes and recovering from them — is because they’re not worrying about survival. Jake drives a luxury car. Adam is a prestigious architect. They all live in Santa Barbara. The movie doesn’t hide the wealth — in fact, it’s almost aspirational. And as a viewer, I found myself thinking: We deserve this. A good life. Beauty. Comfort. Space to breathe.

The cast is spectacular. Alec Baldwin plays Jake with the perfect mix of charm and selfishness. He’s a man who doesn’t know what he wants, and that’s exactly what makes him dangerous — but also kind of fascinating. 

Steve Martin as Adam is gentle, generous, and wounded. At some point in the film, you start rooting for him so much that the heartbreak in his eyes becomes devastating.

And speaking of devastation: the climax. Wow. The faces of Jane and Jake’s adult children — Lauren (Caitlin FitzGerald), Gabby (Zoe Kazan), and Luke (Hunter Parrish) — when they find out about their parents’ affair, are absolutely heartbreaking. Jane is crushed. There’s guilt, shame, disappointment. There’s also a brilliant moment of emotional closure when she realizes that what made the affair so exciting was, ironically, the fact that it was forbidden. If Jake hadn’t been married, maybe they wouldn’t have gotten together again at all.

And through it all, Adam remains kind. He represents partnership. A relationship between equals. Jake wanted to be taken care of. He had these sexist expectations that Jane would mother him again. But Jane doesn’t want that anymore. She wants someone to walk beside her — and that’s Adam.

We also need to shout out John Krasinski as Harley, Jane’s son-in-law. The kids may be mostly irrelevant to the plot (aside from that one scene), but Harley is a gem. Krasinski plays him with perfect comedic timing. He’s hilarious, supportive, shocked, overwhelmed — everything you want in the perfect son-in-law. He’s kind of just being John Krasinski, sure, but it works.

The dialogue in this movie deserves its own paragraph. Every line feels organic, natural, yet carefully written. It never feels scripted, and that’s such a rare thing. The conversations feel like real people navigating real emotions. That’s a testament to Nancy Meyers’s genius — and probably also to Hans Zimmer, who composed the soundtrack. Yes, Hans Zimmer! The same man who scored Gladiator and Inception gave his musical touch to this romantic comedy, and it’s just another example of how everything in this film is top quality.

Watching this movie made me nostalgic. It reminded me of how much the world has changed since 2009. This was pre-Netflix-streaming-dominance. People still rented DVDs. And yet, It’s Complicated feels incredibly current. The themes of emotional growth, family, loneliness, and romantic rediscovery are timeless.

One of the most valuable things about the movie is how it portrays coming back to an ex. At one point, I thought it’s never worth it — but this movie complicates that idea. These are people who once loved each other deeply. There’s always something there. Sometimes it’s worth exploring again. Sometimes it isn’t. But it’s valid to try.

In the end, of course, we root for Jane and Adam. And we’re left with a quiet sense of hope. That maybe, just maybe, the best part of your life could still be ahead of you.

It’s Complicated is not just a romantic comedy. It’s a reflection on love, on being human, on starting over. It’s one of the best comedies ever made. It’s not even up for debate.