Salem’s Lot: A Horror Movie That Forgot to Be Scary

Salem's Lot2024

Stephen King once said that his goal with his horror novels is to scare readers so badly that they might die of a heart attack while reading. Well, I don’t know if he has seen Salem’s Lot (2024), the latest adaptation of his classic vampire novel, but I imagine that when he does, he might be the one at risk of a heart attack—out of sheer frustration.   

My basic view is—as rough a conclusion as it may sound—the adaptation is just so far from capturing the chilling essence of the novel that it’s almost comical. 

King’s book is a sprawling, detailed, and genuinely creepy exploration of small-town life meeting ancient evil. It takes its time building up characters and a sense of dread. This movie? Just the opposite. The pacing is so rushed that it feels like the filmmakers were in a hurry to get it over with. Characters are introduced, disappear, and then suddenly reappear when needed to serve the plot, leaving the audience wondering, “Wait, who’s this again?” 

Let's address the vampires. In theory, they should be the scariest part of the movie, right? But somehow, Salem's Lot manages to make them both ridiculous and unintentionally hilarious. Every time a vampire pops up, it feels like someone pressed on their entrance cue ahead of time. There was no slow buildup, no creeping dread—just BAM! A vampire is there, more like a birthday cake surprise than something scary emerging from the shadows.   

Adding to the comedic vibe is the glow-in-the-dark cross. Yes, you heard me right. In a key moment of vampire-fighting action, one of the characters whips out this giant, absurdly bright, glowing cross like they’re holding a neon sign. I couldn’t take it seriously. This thing was like a flashlight on steroids, illuminating everything around it in an exaggerated, almost cartoonish way. It completely shattered any tension the scene was trying to build. Instead of thinking, "Wow, the vampire is about to get wrecked!" I was more like, "Where can I buy one of those glow-in-the-dark crosses for Halloween?" It's the kind of over-the-top prop that belongs in a parody horror movie, not an adaptation of one of Stephen King's creepiest novels. 

And then there’s the hero of the film, Mark Petrie (played by Jordan Preston Carter), a brave, smart, and way-too-capable little kid who essentially becomes the key to saving the entire town from the vampire menace. This kid is fighting off vampires like it’s no big deal, which left me thinking, “Why not just lean into it and turn this into a full-on horror comedy?” Maybe make it something like Home Alone, but instead of bumbling burglars, it’s a horde of vampires getting outwitted by a plucky kid. Honestly, Salem’s Lot could’ve gone that route and made a much better film. I mean, I’d watch Vampires vs. Kids any day. 

If there’s one thing that the movie Salem’s Lot does well, it’s how much potential is left on the table. I kept waiting for the movie to dive deeper into the eerie atmosphere of the town or for the characters to go beyond simplistic stereotypes. But nope, we didn’t get any of that. Instead, we got a cookie-cutter vampire story with none of the flavor. 

Take the Marsten House, for example. In the novel, it serves as a focal point of dread in town, representing the dark forces lurking just out of sight. In the movie, it’s basically just...there. They touch on it briefly, but there’s no real sense of its importance or the history behind it. It’s like they forgot that it’s supposed to be the most terrifying place in town.  

Horror movies are supposed to make your heart race, your palms sweat, and leave you looking over your shoulder for the rest of the night. But Salem’s Lot did something entirely different—it made me laugh. If you’re a die-hard fan of Stephen King, this adaptation might leave you feeling disappointed—or even frustrated. But if you go in with zero expectations and an appreciation for accidental comedy, there’s some fun to be had. Just don’t expect any sleepless nights—unless you’re kept awake replaying the glowing cross scene in your head.