POV: You Are Watching The #TIFF2024 Pre-Show

If you weren't at TIFF this year, I wouldn't worry too much. You'll eventually be able to see most of the movies that played at the fest, and there's more than enough paparazzi photos to get the red carpet experience. 

As Peliplat's on the ground TIFF reporter however, I want to go above and beyond and report on something you'll likely never see: the annoying nonsense that plays before the films even start. That's right, I'm taking you through the TIFF pre-show, step by step. 

Just imagine this: you have your popcorn, you're primed for the film, and the lights go down. Here's what you see next:

First, something that's not annoying nonsense: a land acknowledgement. If you are not from Canada, you may be unfamiliar with these. This is a practice where the hosts of an event will acknowledge that it is operated on Indigenous land. There's a lot of discussion to be had on the merits of these, and I lack the depth or knowledge to have it here, but I know the reactions are mixed among Indigenous communities. For the record, I think TIFF's is a pretty good one, that uses the opportunity to show clips from the work of legendary Indigenous filmmaker Alanis Obomsawin.

On to the nonsense: the next piece is an ad from TIFF's major sponsor: one of the two telecommunications companies in Canada. TIFF is sponsored by them since they had a falling out with their last major sponsor, the other telecommunications company in Canada (free market baybee). 

The sponsors tend to go all out with these TIFF ads, and this one is no exception. The conceit of this one is that "for one week, everyone's a critic.” The ad shows different people across the city (a server, a bus driver, a crossing guard etc.) discussing film in high-minded terms. “Finnish female directors are having a moment, are they not?” the cab driver asks. You get the idea. 

I hate to admit it… I kinda like this one. I give zero credit to the sponsor, but whatever copy writer scripted this did a pretty good job. Every TIFF ad becomes unbearable if you see it a dozen times in one week, but this one was fun at first, which is more than I can say for most of them. 

The next one is for TIFF's other major sponsor, a Really Big Canadian bank. This one is about how things always go wrong on a film set, and the bank is there for you when things go wrong. Unsure if that's true, but the bank is definitely there for fossil fuel companies and the international weapons trade! Just kidding folks, please don't sue. 

Anyway, this one's not bad either. We see a bunch of stuff going wrong: a stuntman getting stuck in a wire on a greenscreen, equipment malfunctioning, etc. , and it's pretty relatable if you've ever worked on a set. There's also an admirably gross gag where a camera operator walks backwards into a urinal and accidentally flushes it. Again, no points for the sponsor, but the piece is well directed. 

Next up, Christie Projectors, who I guess projects the movies at TIFF. Best thing I can say about this one is that it's short. A kid watches a sci-fi movie with some cool visuals while the narrator talks about how projectors create “memories of light.” Sure. 

I should probably provide some pre-show context here: jokes and rituals related to the pre-show often develop throughout the festival. In the past, jewelry and shampoo companies have been major sponsors, and are often fodder for these jokes. Their ads tend to be faux-arty and self-serious, so people will do stuff like clap along to the beat of the music. I even had some friends in high school who would give a standing ovation at the end of these ads. What I'm trying to say is that the pre-show is a bit of an open mic for amateur comedians. However, this year's ads are pretty dialogue heavy and haven't left much of a gap for people to try out their material. 

I bring this up because at one of my screenings, someone yelled “WE LOVE YOU CHRISTIE!” at the end of the Christie Projectors commercial. It wasn't that funny and didn't get much of a response, so I don't see it catching on. Still, I applaud the attempt. 

Speaking of applause, next up is a thank you segment for the TIFF volunteers. I've volunteered at TIFF before, and I know from experience that the volunteers make the festival tick. Full respect to them, and I'm glad that it's festival tradition to applaud the volunteers at the end of this segment. This particular one though - I don't know. 

The segment is shot in one of the festival venues, but due to lack of extras the whole thing looks abandoned. The piece would give you the impression that the volunteers don't do anything. 

“This is the best managed line you've ever seen? I agree” says one of the volunteers, to absolutely no one. It's not the actors fault, they absolutely hung him out to dry with that one. Over the years, a lot of these segments have made the volunteers look noble and awesome, but this one falls short of that goal.

Next, there's a preview of TIFF's year round programing at their flagship theater, TIFF Lightbox. There's some serious sounding music over footage of people entering the theater and directors speaking at Q & A's. I have no skin in the game but I will say that the Lightbox's programming is pretty great. Classic and international movies (plus movies released straight to Netflix that aren't getting theatrical release) presented with state of the art picture and sound. I highly recommend it if you are a cinephile visiting Toronto. I saw David Fincher's The Killer there and the whole experience completely rocked. 

Speaking of Lightbox, the next promo is for the Varda cafe in the building. I haven't been there but it's cute that it's called the Varda Cafe. The promo consists of some bright graphics and bouncy music, and lasts like fifteen seconds. Painless.

After that we have a reminder to vote for the TIFF's People's Choice award. This is actually a fairly important part of the festival. People can use a code on their ticket to vote for their favourite film, and the winning film is screened for free on the last day of the fest. The award is a pretty big deal and is often considered a sign that the film will be nominated for (or win) best picture. For reference: the last time the people's choice award winner wasn't nominated for best picture was back in 2011. 

Sometimes these reminders to vote are pretty elaborate and creative, but not so this year. Instead, it's two well known Toronto radio DJ's telling you to vote with some really lame banter thrown in. I have some affection for these guys - my Mom and I used to listen to them in the car on the way to school - but the jokes are rough. They've bombed at very single screening I've been to. What's going on here. 

Anyway, we've reached the final segment - the anti-piracy warning. This is a contentious one. Basically, the segment is a pretty dry warning about recording pieces of the movie. Don't do it. That's fair enough, but the contentious part is that long ago, some jokesters started going “ARRRRR” when this warning came up. Get it? Like a pirate! 

When I was a teenager I thought this was pretty funny, and I'm big enough to admit that I said “arrr” once or twice. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Then, someone cool told me that arr wasn't funny, and I was like “oh yeah, I guess it's not.” I hated it for a while after that, but after ten years of going to TIFF I've reached the acceptance stage of my relationship with the arr joke. It's part of the furniture and I'd miss it if it was gone. Every once in a while I go to the fest with someone who's never been, and they look at me with confusion or amusement when the arr joke happens. That's cute. 

Love it or hate it, arr is an integral part of the TIFF experience, and I wanted to share it with you.